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Yuni is totally dissimilar to a murdering TV character June 18, 2008

Posted by Brad in commentary.
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I haven’t really been watching this Mariners homestand very much. (How’ve they been doing?) The combination of paying work, nice weather, European soccer, and the desire for human contact have pushed the Mariners to the backburner. Actually, all those things and Dexter.

He doesn\'t usually smile

After getting partway through the first season of this Showtime, I realized two things. First, while I thought Michael C. Hall would always be best known as the socially cold and awkward funeral director on the pay TV series Six Feet Under, he’s actually much more suited to the role of socially cold and awkward forensics expert and mass murderer on this pay TV series. Second, Dexter is the anti-Yuni.

he always smiles

I’ll break it down:

Yuniesky Betancourt Dexter Morgan
awesome name rather bland name
black white
Cuban, but lives in Florida in the offseason Floridian, but works and lives among Cubans
Occasionally misses dribbling groundballs Never misses dribbling bloodstains
Voluntarily fled from his family (but was reunited with fattening results) Orphaned against his will. Maintains his figure
Hits balls for bloop singles or ground outs Hits people with hard, piercing (usually lethal) blows
Fails to lay down a bunt with two strikes Never fails his meticulously planned killings
Starred in 441 games over 4 seasons Starred in 24 episodes over 2 seasons
Will have a bobblehead giveaway in 51 days Will NOT have a bobblehead giveaway
Likes Cuban food Likes Cuban food

So, in the end (by which I mean that last, trivial category) I guess Yuniesky Betancourt isn’t that different from a serial killer killer.

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