On Friday, the Mariners and San Diego Padres decided to wear the ugliest jerseys in their collective histories, relying on questionable fashion choices of the late 1970s. I’m a firm advocate of the Mariners’ iconic trident cap–I frequently get compliments when I wear mine and “tridents” and “poseidon god of the sea” are two of the top 3 Google searches that lead hear. That said, the M’s powder blue jerseys lack a certain… viewability.  Here’s a gallery of Yuni’s style from Friday’s game:

Yuni examines his bat to make sure that it also isn’t a product of shoddy 1970s planning.   Yuni went 0-5 and left an untold number of runners on base.  The team stranded 18 runners.  I’d say Yuni was responsible for five fourths of them.

Yuni’s mouth is agape.  That hat looks marvelous.  Also, note that in the first photo, the M’s used their standard navy blue “compass rose” batting helmets.  The Padres had special brown-and-yellow extra-ugly helmets made specially for the game (or discovered in the catacombs of Jack Murphy Stadium).  The clashing helmets had a jarring effect that reminded me that, despite high oil prices and terrible Seattle baseball, the game was not, in fact, played in the late 1970s.

Here, you can see that the stitching and letters on Yuni’s jersey were flawless, as was his balanced swing.  Yuni successfully executed his plan to hit a weak pop up in foul territory.

Yuni is pleased after successfully throwing to Richie Sexson.  He does this all the time, I swear.

To celebrate the M’s 4-2 victory (in which he played an almost insignificant role) Yuni eats his blue jersey.  Electric blue is definitely the tastiest color of food not found in nature.